Painting chocolate

Somehow, I was suckered into buying an organic chocolate cleansing face mask. The ladies who made and sold it were so nice. So I spent $5 for a tiny bag of organic cocoa and a plastic packet of organic honey. Kind of like the ketchup packets at McDonald’s. Except organic honey. Oh, and it came with a wee little paint brush.

After reading a bit of Portland writer Marc Acito’s blog (in which he tried something new every day for a year), I decided to liven up the morning by painting the chocolate concoction all over my face.

Thoughts while preparing and painting the mask:
1.    Why didn’t I just make a mask from food I already have? Like hot cocoa and maple syrup? Or peanut butter and jelly?
2.    This needs a dribble of water. Oops– a dribble was too much. Should have been 1-2 drops from an eyedropper.
3.    It’s so fun to stir things with my wee tiny teaspoon from IKEA.
4.    It will be even more fun to use this week tiny paintbrush on my FACE!
5.    This smells delicious!
6.    I wonder if G would be interested in painting the chocolate on my face. I’ll ask him. (G’s response: “I’ll have no part in painting chocolate on your face!”– a phrase we just don’t hear often enough in life.)
7.    This paintbrush is SO cute!
8.    Wow, I’m painting chocolate on my face. This is a really weird thing to do.
9.    Wow, the way this chocolate drips down my face kind of looks like gore. (Here G aptly points out that it looks most specifically like poo.)
10.    I have covered my face and still have gore/poo/organic magic left over. That’s like two face masks for the price of five!
11.    Now to kill some time while the mask does its magic. I’ll clean my desk by the window.
12.    Oh, crap, there’s an electrician outside the window reading a meter. Has he seen me?
13.    Maybe I want him to see me. Hey, electrician man, look this way, I’ll freak you out!
14.    Alas, he is too busy with his job to notice the lady who appears to be covered in poo.
15.    Tick tock tick tock.
16.    Time to wash the chocolate off.
17.    Man, this takes some scrubbing! I wonder if it will leave an orangey-brown layer that makes me look like Lindsay Lohan?
18.    Scrub scrub scrub.
19.    OK, I think that’s my original skin color.


(10 minutes later) My cheeks feel smooth as a baby’s bottom. … And I smell like a bakery.

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