Blessed be the Hammer

I like to believe that everything is made with a purpose. But with some things — mosquitoes and ferrets, for instance — it’s hard to see what the point is.

MC Hammer has been another of those mysteries to me. Sure, it was fun to mimic his dance moves and enormous neon pants in the early ’90s. But then he went bankrupt and dropped off the music scene. So what’s a Hammer for?

Here’s what MC Hammer’s for, kids!

I was just listening to Radiohead while procrastinating on an important project. Instead of working on the project, I found myself thinking about sad Radiohead things and feeling a bit shitty within a matter of minutes. Don’t get me wrong– I love that “Fake Plastic Trees” song. But it is sad. And so was I.

That is, until my play list jumped randomly to MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This”! Instantly (!) I was laughing out loud and crunk-dancing at my desk.

So there you go. MC Hammer was placed on this earth to make people laugh immediately after listening to Radiohead. Blessed be the Hammer.

End notes on the Hammer:

  • I think Hammer became a preacher of some kind, so when I say “blessed be the Hammer,” I’m probably not the first. Man, I wish I could go to a church where people shouted that out.
  • My indirect claim to fame is that my step-dad paved MC Hammer’s tennis court. This was in the early ’90s when we lived the Bay Area.
  • One of my all time favorite news flubs was when a reporter referred to M.C. Hammer as “McHammer,” as though he were a Mickey D’s product or a (truly) black Irishman.

Blessed be the Hammer! Amen!


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